12.17.12 - its almost here

I wasn't too sure if I should write anything today. My outlook on life hasn't been the greatest and I am starting to wonder if I made the right choice. I think that many people enter the teaching profession thinking they will change lives and really make a difference but lately, it doesn't seem like that is happening at all, or if I'm changing lives, its not for the better. This makes me question my motives, my methods, myself in general. What makes me think I have the disposition to work with moody teenagers? Why do I have this insane need to expect the best from students when I'm not giving my best either?

Since the break is coming up here really soon, it seems like we are all just struggling to get through the day so that we are one day closer to break. Put into consideration that no one planned the schedule out very well so we have two un-needed half days to contend with when two full days would have worked just as well since there aren't any finals. way to think that one through huh? This is what I get from letting decisions be made for me.

Today, had two classes work on tests. They didn't get done in the time allowed. Could it be that one class I need to add 15 additional minutes? Could it be that the other test didnt get finished because it was 30 geometry questions in less than 40 minutes? Luckily most students came back but I wasn't able to track who might have taken the test home with them. Wouldn't be a big deal but this class is infamous for improper use of resources.

Finally, just when I thought one class was doing ok, we got some work done and they seemed to catch on to what we needed to do... I saw the cover of one of my student's binders and at the top was my name in conjunction with the *-itch word (rhymes with witch). This student, I try to look out for them and while we dont share a personal connection, I thought we got along well and I did my best to make sure this person had extra attention in regards to math since I didn't see this person much except our class. This person claims they didnt write it but the handwriting is unmistakable, seeing as i've seen that handwriting for three years now. it would have been nice if they could have erased the word as well but they made no move to do so. so there it stays. awesome. this leads me to believe I expect too much of everyone, including me. Maybe I should just succumb to mediocrity. seems to be working for everyone else. or maybe i take a picture of it and send it on up the chain. is that taking it too personal? its there for everyone to see. is that petty or calling to attention disrespect? i dont know either. im getting tired so i almost want to drop it. almost. if only they had offered to erase it instead of leaving it there. it was in pencil. could have erased it. argh.

two more half days. just gotta get through those and maybe we can all have a break and get some rest from each other. maybe we can return with better attitudes or at least be ready to see each other again.

this Connecticut thing. it makes you think a bit. think about safety, think about motives, think about how to handle that situation if it happens to you. i would take a bullet to help protect my kids, i wonder if they consider this when they call me these ugly things behind my back. that brings me to, i formally apologize to my former teachers for being an idiot back in school. i hope i wasn't as disrespectful and if i was, i'm sorry and if it makes you feel better, its coming back to haunt me.

got some things to work on so i'm out. lates.

12.14.12 - almost Christmas break

It's almost Christmas break and you can feel the ancy "just let me out!" vibe buzzing in the halls. That vibe is then enhanced by the students' need to be out of school as well.

Alg2- I got sidetracked too easily. Need to remember to keep on track and not be so distracted.

Alg1- did journal entry with slope and linear function stuff. Didn't print the papers correctly so I ended up wasting time printing. Note to self: make sure all printouts make sense and you have pictures of what needs to be written taken with a decent camera.

MMA - going through quadratics with ten. What a mistake. Got through the paper and they now have homework. Won't they be surprised when they get zeroes for not turning their work in. Well, only a certain two people. The rest will probably do their work.

Geo- review notes and test. Spent most of the tutoring various students from the class including after school scheduled tutoring. I don't want to complain about them though seeing as at least they seem fairly interested in doing math.

I even got a little compliment from the Chemistry teacher that the soph students seemed more focused and able to handle the math aspect of chemistry much better this year, and even just in this past 6 weeks. He said whatever I was doing, I ought to keep it up. If pushing the kids until I want to cry is what it takes... Then I guess I'll go and buy more tissues.

On a different note, I do feel a sense of sorrow for my fellow teachers and the poor, innocent children who were murdered today. It made me grateful to see my boys walk through the door today after school and I will be sure to hold them tight for as long as they'll let me. My prayers are with their families tonight and for the next while as they struggle through this time.

Goodnight.

12.12.12 - date obligatory post

It's obvious I needed to post today, isn't it?

Alg2- they got a "your home life sucks, make the commitment to become better" talk. It was a feel good time. How that all turns out is another story. I've seen it happen but I've seen it NOT happen more often. More math tomorrow.

Computer class- I'm helping my homie across the hall with his computer class. The kids have been assigned to do PowerPoint presentations on our latest unit. They have taken to it quite well and I'm interested in seeing the results. Maybe this turns into something?

Alg1- and then they got goofy. Got some work done so it was ok. Tomorrow we do story problems and then Friday we journal and review. Test Monday.

MMA- had them do a paper independently. They did all right enough to count it as a quiz.

Geo - reviewed yesterday's stuff and moved on to new stuff. They have homework and its due tomorrow. It's not too difficult so I'm ok with this.

Other- holy crap, I did so much tutoring today my brain hurts. I am mentally fried. Sleep is a welcome concept. I'm sure there's loads of things to do but I can't remember what they are. I need to start making lists. At least my grades are caught up. Word. Laters.

12.11.12 - today was all right

I think I was too tired to care how today went. Yesterday was spent finishing grades and thinking of game plans for the next couple weeks. See, you can't give a kid a grade without a reason and a way for that student to "fix" that grade. The student will then not follow through and by the time you need to turn in grades again, the grade will be even worse but you're expected to show leniency and all that for the student who didn't keep up their end of the bargain. Is it all for show? Possibly. The best part is when the kid shows up telling you they recognize they need help and you sit there and help them figure out what they need to do and they expect you to forget the part where they need to work and expect a better grade anyway. Have I been sitting myself up for that one somehow? Whatever. Plans have been put in place by myself, the students, the coaches, the FFA guy, a couple parents... Seems like a recipe for disaster. (Haha)

Alg2 - did quadratic stuff today. Happy to just get through the paper.

Alg1 - correlations today. Not to shabby. They tried to distract me with zombies but I got it back on course with ants and crickets.

MMA - the paper was shorter than they expected and they were excited to know we got done so quickly. We joked around like old times and I think they enjoyed that. Back to work tomorrow.

Geo - they have homework when they didn't need to have homework. Going through similar triangles so I hope this al goes quickly. Depends on them but I know where we need to be and so I keep pushing and tutoring once a week for athletes has now come into play. So much for leaving early, might be nice for some extra compensation but I keep trying to remind myself it's not about the money. At least for now.

At the end of the day, it amazes me how many kids show up for school day after day. Makes you wonder what home is like when they'd rather be at school than home. Or maybe, just maybe, they actually like learning. Ok. I'm trying to hit the hay early tonight. I hope. Need some sleep. Laters.

12.9.12 - it's all about the benjamins

Went to a training yesterday that had a stipend. It was good info. Mostly went due to the money and it being Christmas soon. It did kinda make me aware of certain issues with learning in regards to my own kids (especially after hearing my kid read last night).
It had to do mostly with ELL types but they emphasized the fact that many native learners had troubles as well.
Have me a chance to brainstorm some stuff and the teacher at school that has the computer class asked if I had anything to keep the kids busy. So I came up with ideas. They are going to make subway art for word walls and they will make power points to show wht they've learned in review form. The kids asked when they would ever use the stuff they learned, I think this is a good way. PLUS I'm thinking at the end of the year, we could pull in some business people and have them critique their work. Hmmm. Just brainstorming right now.
I do know that I struggle with the feeling that mediocre is ok where I'm at. I don't want my kids to think mediocre is always acceptable. We expect the best from them at home, so should their school. Anyway. That's all for now.

12.7.12 - babysitting

That's pretty much sums up what I did today. Some kids, you don't mind them being around and you will actually enjoy their company. And then there are other kids that, if you knew nobody would tell on you, you would bind and gag them, fill them full of sleeping pills until it was time to go home. I wouldn't really do the previously mentioned activity but since I wrote it, that must mean the thought has crossed my mind.

Oh yeah. My two hassle kids apologized today. Better than nothing. Hope it was because they meant it. Better than nothing and I'm glad their parents have the good sense to make sure they did.

It's the weekend now. I have training tomorrow and I'm not too sure what its all about but I do know it pays $100 and it IS Christmas and I could use some extra dough. Sweet.

Alg2 - we did the matrix again. They are slow but as long as they understand it then I will be patient.

Alg1- made them work but they have learned to distract me with zombie discussions. Oh well. Their work is due Monday, zombies or not.

That's it. Got caught up on life after school for the kiddos. They lead interesting lives. I don't envy half of them. The best I can do is just be there and keep them accountable to themselves. I guess? Sleep soon. Laters.

12.6.12 - did you hit your head last night?

There is clearly a "done" button in the corner. Perhaps this will be a keeper.

There isn't too much to say, I think. Alg 2 we did matrices on the calculator. It went all right. Little bit more practice and I might feel comfortable with them using for other stuff.

Alg 1 - went over part 3. Using 2 points to figure a line. Got into an exchange as to the relevance of math later in life. Yes. I get how people won't graph lines and such on an everyday basis. As my hubby put it, you aren't in high school to become awesome at everything. You are in high school to learn how to be responsible and to learn to think. No one wants to hire someone who can't/won't think. Everyday he has to deal with people who never learned to think through situations and make good decisions. It's a disaster. So these kids I have that hassled me today, before I got caught up in their lameness, I put my hands up and declared I was done. Done. I'm here to help, was trying to help and it was becoming apparent that they weren't interested in receiving help. So I moved on to others that were more willing to receive help. There were still some more that claimed to not know what to do (despite the fact they were calling out answers yesterday) but at least they didn't question the reason we were learning math. Bless the heart of the kid that was doing his work without complaint and helping those around him while I dealt with other people. Quite honestly, it was disheartening. Maybe it was because I thought I'd explained why we were learning what we were yesterday, maybe I'm just getting too frustrated. Maybe I expect too much. We were taught to be "doers" as a child, apparently not everyone was brought up that way.

The rest of the day I spent grading papers and having random discussions about dissection of animals in science class, the enormity of the Disney company and then the history/origin of corn. It was decided that I should branch into Science. Which would be cool. I'm really only interested in geology but that other stuff is cool too. Probably not going to happen for a while though.

I came home eventually. Ate good food. My husband says he's been trying to find presents for me for Christmas. He googled "best gifts for math teachers". The top two suggested gifts were 1) tranquilizers and 2) booze.
Sounds about right. Laters.

12.5.12 trying again

i typed up this long-enough blog yesterday. wrote stuff that was meaningful to me. hit what i thought was the "publish" button only to see my page go blank. double checked which button i had pushed and found that i had pushed "cancel". Dude. are you freakin kidding me? I think that the phone app should have a "are you sure you want to cancel the big ole blog you just wrote?" and then i could hit the "HECK NO!!!!" button. I tell myself that it deleted because perhaps i had divulged too much. it didnt feel like i had but it could be that some higher power was like, "hey! whoa! lets not go there today!" seriously. didn't say much that shouldnt be said but if the higher power felt i needed to hit cancel, then so be it. i am on an actual computer today and i just hit "save". at least my first paragraph will show up this time. gah.

Alg2 - yesterday we did systems of equations with 3 variables and 3 systems. they handled it better than i thought they would so that was cool. we did get stuck on two problems but the good news is that today we got through those problems after a few unsuccessful attempts. lesson for today? sometimes it takes playing with the functions to learn what will work. if it doesn't work the first time, back up and try something else. if only that translated to real world for some of them. today we didnt do anything much since two of my girls had an important prior engagement. tomorrow we will do the matrix. i think they'll like that. better than messing with the big stuff we did today.

Alg1 - learning how to get and equation from different slopes and points. they're acting like they know whats going on. well, one or two of them are doing all right. i know someone is clueless though. just gotta figure out who. had a quick talk to one of them about what he wanted to do with our class (going to do better or not?) and so far, it seems like he wants to do better. i hope he can see that through. in the meantime, tutoring on wednesday for him.

MMA - dude. we were supposed to work on slope and all that in there as well. got some notes taken but they weren't interested in working. i wrote stuff on the board anyway and went through some problems. i figure maybe i'll just talk and explain like i do and then that way at least i can say i did what i said i would for teaching and they just weren't paying attention. its not what i'd like but apparently thats how its gonna be for now. lame. starting to not like that class too much.

GEO- these guys aren't much better. we worked on some proofs and stuff. they finally started to focus towards the, especially when i assigned them homework. i wont see them for two days because of tournaments so thats just awesome. i try to be happy about them being gone but it kinda messes up the fact that i'm supposed to teach them.

YB - got some football pics and stuff to load up. gotta work on layouts and things. i ought to get moving on that seeing as i might end up doing it myself again. can't say why just yet, especially since i think thats part of the reason my post yesterday went "poof!!!" talking too much about whats going on with the students. i didnt go into details but they have some big stuff to face. should be interesting to see how that goes.

all right. i'm sure theres other stuff to do (grading, bleech) so i guess i better work on that. gotta order some Christmas cards and things. is it Christmas yet???? laters.

12.4.12

I hate this stupid blog sometimes. I hit clear when I meant to publish and I wrote a good deal.funk that crap. It's late. I'm out.

12.3.12 you did what?

It amazes me the things my students do over the weekends. They come back with some really interesting stories some Mondays and I think today takes a high position on the cake. Can't say what they did but it did involve a vehicle and the inability to drive said vehicle. Just when I was starting to think they were all right, they go and do what they did. Oh well. We will just see how this plays out.

Alg2- could have gotten more done if we didn't have to heard the legend of the two silly girls. Hopefully we get that all done tomorrow and then some.

Alg1- did CbR activity that they enjoyed. Had a couple kids that didn't want to participate but they ended up doing so anyway. Then they gave up again without even trying so I'm ready to just move on and not worry about them anymore. I don't need the attitude so I will do my job and if they learn, woo, if not, eh.

MMA could have gotten more done if a certain someone wasn't there both well. Just happy to get some work done.

Geo- they had a quiz after I gave them journal notes. Also did a "journal check" to see who was prepared. Goofy kids. Was kinda cold to kids overall today. Just wanted to get stuff done.

Grading. Need to do it. PC. Need to do the form. Yearbook, it might be me if things don't go well soon. Oh well. I'm sleepy. Laters.